Quotes 2016
As per usual, chaps, please enter your quotes into the right section. If anybody would get the joke, stick it into 'General Interest'; if only you and a group of friends would get it, pop it into 'In-Jokes'. Feel free to create new sub-headings for your class, I would have put them in except I didn't have the booklet am a lazy shit :3 TalesOfTheQuad.wikia.com would like to remind you to ACTUALLY FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS ABOVE PLEASE. Some quotes which make no sense to the general population have been moved to the In-Jokes section, in the faint hopes that they make sense to SOMEBODY. Likewise, only in-jokes should be put in the in-jokes section. Add in quotes under whichever titles you think it fits. If you need to make a new subheading, e.g for a specific class, please use Sub-Heading 2 as otherwise the contents system will screw up. Also add your course if it's not here To avoid confusion as well, I suggest using a semicolon to differentiate quotes that are related Session 1 Courses Animal Psychology Astronomy Give it a shtir there, Cormac - Darragh There are child Sportalians here now so obviously the condom machines didn't work - Sarah I'm always dying on the inside - Kacper You pounded it, there's no coming back - Alex I'm a Somali pirate - Diarmuid Pluto is about the size of America and isn't America pretty much Earth - Brian I love the way your face is pink and shiny - Lisa Are you sexually attracted to chocolate? - Sarah There's clever, then there's CAT, then there's them - Ava (in reference to Summer Scholars) What do you call when a person tries to run away from a city full of velociraptors? ... escape velocity! - Alex The skirts were short and there were lots of Nazis - Eoghan It's called being a Jew... Oh wait, no -Sarah And she just popped out a sprog, as you do - Lauren I am your Daddy. You will now call me Daddy - David What do you call the thrusting of your marbles, asked Fionn. I'm fairly sure it's called rape, replied Alex My ego...fuck, I don't know - Sarah I don't think latex can handle being spacetimed - Eoghan I don't stare at man - David I feel like I'm in Auschwitz -Kacper This is the last time you can pound me in study - Brian I felt bad for a leaf yesterday....I was eating it - Lauren No one cares about naked people in Australia - Sarah .... I do - Diarmuid Japan is so weird - Eoghan, giggling to himself I still have a dongle - Lauren There's a waistcoat under this varsity - Ciara I liked constellations because I got to try - Ava I'm being assaulted by a yoghurt - Sarah Diarmuid (a Cork man) and an Arab man are walking in a desert. The Arab man stops, turns to Diarmuid and says "I'm going to build a city here". Diarmuid replies "Do boii" - Kevin (Sarah's boyfriend) They have rabies in France - Eoghan Can i have a go on your tiny one - Sarah (to David) You've got to know your ex's - Eoghan Just say spandex and balls - David And, like, this guy was gay for Jesus - Sarah Criminology: comparing Ctyi to the Irish prison system - Eoghan Pounding from a far, long distance pounding - Sarah Behavioural Psychology ''' "what team?" "wild rats"- muireann and caoimhe "I thought my thumbs were longer for a moment"- eve "koko...*hand signals*..kitten...hit by car"- everyone "cormac for pope"- dylan "squirrel?"- everyone "for shakira reasons"-dylan "who has the boner?"-emer "shakira shakira"-kevin "I didnt inject it with samonella"-dylan "kevin is not furniture"- sarah *looks at dylan* "you look like the most comfortable turtle right now"- cormac "I have ramachandran"-lana (about phobia of beautiful women) "fear of me"-eve '''Biotechnology Paleo people aren't human - Gavin Don't blame Trump for TB - Elizabeth Friends are food; either lonely or a cannibal - Ciara He dresses like a conspiracy theorist - Ciara It's not cheating if it's teamwork -Ciara and that's good science Toby the Friendly Ghost -Elizabeth I love me a good little child -Ellen Bodily violation -Rachel How satisfied are you? yes -Paul answering a survey Oh I like trees, I am a tree -Ellen It's not prostitution, it's entrepreneurship -Ciara Prostitution is Montgomery County Public School approved -Elizabeth Don't wear your leg -Gavin "Yet another example of women getting shafted by men" -Gavin The number of fucks we give equals the number of friends we have; So two? -Elizabeth then Ciara Irish problems: when u get more action from a potato than men -Ciara Don't support potato rape culture -Ciara "Elizabeth, did u ruin the tax system?" "yea, I was having a bad day" -Ciara then Elizabeth Downside of cannabalism, you don't have any friends -Elizabeth Come quick so u can stroke my potato -Elizabeth Netflix and stroke my potato -Ciara In the words of my favorite quote, you look like the shit -Ciara "and thats why he has herpes" "goals" -Ronan then Gavin The controversy of the day -Gavin Hey lemme show you my spinal cord, it'll get ye in the mood -Megan There are two types of bacterial meningitis, I will slice your face off -Elizabeth Is making someone eat something prostitution? Does that mean forcing them to eat it is rape? -Freddie Aggressively average -Elizabeth Statistically average -Ciara Teamwork make the toastable dreamwork -Ciara the Legend We should make something that discards naughty children; Thats called a gun -Elizabeth then Ciara To do the talking more betterly -Ciara It tastes like nonprofits -Ciara from Connor the legendary RA Maple Syrup Urine Disease, what the fuck is that -Gavin That whole famine thing -Gavin I love how your still a mess over the famine -Elizabeth I don't condone having kids with your brother or sister but... -Gavin Stop the cup violence 2k16 -Ciara Why is everything in the canteen a disappointment -Zac There's nothing wrong with needing help, Annabelle -random author harry potter lives in an orphanage except its one orphan in a family -Elizabeth soooo how bout them redskins -Elizabeth look im a trumpet *screeches* -Ellen yes its solitaire with 2 people -Ellen to Ronan I think the unspoken part of 'i think you're part of the Confederacy' is 'my hero' -Ciara to Elizabeth hey big boy -Daniel to Oisín night time dick time -Ellen and Megan you would be expensive as a hooker -Paul to Ciara caucasian not eurasian -Ciara im secretly black - Freddie "hello dale" "mmmmm" elizabeth then dale while eating ice cream You look good, how much do u cost? -ciara no ones ever asked you that before im surprised -ciara to aurora dont you get my romantic gesture? i put a little ginger in the bin for ya -daniel to elizabeth ronan lost his virginity to a shoe -a fact kenny chesney, have my children -ciara i love your mother, elizabeth -john the arc i feel like theres never enough hugs or photos or time -ellen Don't support potato rape culture - Ciara Elizabeth did you ruin the tax system- Ciara Yes I was having a bad day - Elizabeth That whole famine thing - Gavin I love how you're still a mess over the famine - Elizabeth There's nothing wrong with needing help Annabelle - random author Harry Potter lives in an orphanage except it's one orphan in a family - Elizabeth Sooooo how about them redskins - Elizabeth Look I'm a trumpet *screeches* - Ellen Yes it's solitaire with two people - Ellen I think the unspoken part of "I think you're part of the Confederacy" is "my hero" - Ciara Hey big boy - Daniel to Oisin Night time dick time - Ellen You would be expensive as a hooker - Paul to Ciara Caucasian not eurasian - Ciara I'm secretly black - Freddie Hello Dale *mmmmmm* - Elizabeth then Dale eating ice-cream You look good, how much do you cost? - Ciara to Aurora No ones ever asked you that before I"m surprised - Ciara to Aurora Don't you get my romantic gesture? I put a little ginger in the bin for you - Daniel to Elizabeth Ronan lost his virginity to a shoe - a fact Kenny Chesney have my children - Ciara I love your mother Elizabeth - John the ARC Get rekt Timmy - everyone "Banter banter" -Ellen "Fancy fancy" "Solid" -Elizabeth I feel like there's never enough hugs or photos or time - Ellen "Tank Madonna" -Gavin "Do you want me to get on all fours for you?" -Elizabeth "Whatcha doing down there Ellen?" "winky face" -Elizabeth; Ellen "You're such a Dennis" -Dale "He has the thing in his mouth all the time" Paul "It's the normal moistness of a finger" -Paul "That's a nice brand of tree, it's an oak, nice brand" -Dale "Here you, let's go" -Megan/Daniel (Megan when talking about sex, Daniel when squaring up) "It's all about finesse" -Paul (on blowjobs) "Keep still, I need wanking material" -Paul "Ronan just lost his virginity to a shoe" -Cormac "I have two phones, one for using, one for abusing" -Jesscia "Claire" "That's funny because you're from Clare" -Jessica and Kellie *Anytime Fergal did anything* "THAT'S MY ROOMMATE!!" -Cormac "I'm like Bill Cosby, you won't feel my penis inside you" -Paul "Make sure you don't stab the button"- Ellen "Bodily Violation" -Normal (nee Blonde) Rachel "I'm slowly getting harder" -Daniel "If you put it in his mouth he'll take it" -Megan "I enjoy scrotum" -Paul "But sometimes I do have diarrhoea" -Paul "I'm rubbing my dick on your towel" "HEY STOP RUBBING YOUR DICK ON MY TOWEL!" -Paul and Cormac "Stand up comedian... amirite?" -Cormac "I don't get people who don't like maths" -Cormac "The Alliance will live on" -Daniel, Megan, Kellie, Jessica "#Corley" -Megan "Nah brah I ain't about that life, Boxias got you" -Megan "You keep flexing during class" "All this talk about protein and muscles, I can't not flex" -Megan and Daniel "Fucking Gains" -Daniel "You can be my Designated Boob Watcher" -Megan to Cormac Computers and Animation I love the sound of children screaming- Rebecca Mmm I love playing with balls - Seamus (and various others) How do I make a universe?! - Seamus AAAGH render you chicken fried fuck! -Rebecca Have you heard of the band Oingo Boingo? It's by Danny Elfman, the guy who makes music for Burton films. They have a lot of weird songs. Search up little girls! Actually, no, don't... - Rebecca Apparently, the makers of Surgeon Simulator have developed a Donald Trump Simulator - Rebecca Stimulator? - Maghnus That's a big British woman - Maghnus I love seals- they're like ocean doggies! - Rebecca Get loads of drugs, eat your sleep and don't do your school - Rebecca I don't just randomly stroke people Rebecca - Aislinn Putin daughter says: Eat Uranium daily! - Rebecca on Whiteboard Dr Booty? Is that Kim Kardashian's plastic surgeon? - Eoin I don't give into peer pressure when it's about alcohol or drugs, only when it's about hat taking - Eoin Law A Dabbing looks like everyone's smelling themselves - Colm Legalise donuts 2k16! - Jack 1, 2, 3, DAB! - Sinéad Apparently people are delicious, they taste like chicken - Alice Brian the Penguin is probably just a solid block of herpes at this point - Emmet Incest is wincest! - Everyone Like, stop rubbing yourselves? - Katie Any questions or queries? - Katie; I'm a queerie! - Alice A lot of people die quite often - Sinéad When it comes down to it, a child is just a pile of organs - Alice You're debating, you're not giving a TED talk - Jack Efficient suffering - Sinéad You can break the law but you I beg you to propose the opposition - ??? *on the phone* Hello, daddy dearest! - Colm I don't think that's his father - Everyone Prostitution mostitution - Sinéad *Colm walks back in the room* Daddy tired him out - Reece Can you have a sugar mommy? - Alice; You haven't met my mother yet - Colm I AM NOT SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO MY FATHER! - Colm Every day is father's day for Colm - Reece *Starts singing can't help falling in love* - Sinéad Forget about mooting. We've got to start muting (the group chat) - Alice A civil parsnip - Sinéad I went to Germany to improve my gag reflex - Molly If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family - Glenn I just came here for vegetable memes, not this violence - Killian This vegetable soup is very watery. I guess that's because humans are 20% water - Jack With organ donation you have the 2 Rs - Katie; What, reduce reuse recycle? - Alice I went to the doctor. We cool. -Kevin We need someone important to die! -? Yeah, someone here take one for the team. -? I said someone IMPORTANT. -? If you look at the reading we had for homework... - Reece; *groaaaans* - Everyone Don't leave your seat Colm! - Katie; I know, I'm just standing up - Colm If the refugee is in DP for >6 years we kill them and donate their organs! - ? Were fisticuffs like the 16th century version of fight club? - ? Caesar Bacteria - Colm A duvet of a blanket statement - Sinéad Every act which is not derived from absolute necessity is a tyrannosaurus - Sinéad I eat plain hobnobs cause I'm a basic bitch - Killian Take your glasses off, I'm into that - Aidan Omg this is my first quote! Big moment for me! - Aidan You speak too fast - ?; You think too slow - ? Pigs can get sunburnt! - Colm; Yeah it's called bacon - Emmet *writes down 'very satisfied' on the form - Molly; What, are you having an orgasm or something? - Aidan *feels Molly's hair bun and moans* - Aidan They push their stomachs out through their anus and then suck it back in - Sinéad A day without the sesh is a day too long for me - Oisin Aidan, shut up. - Everyone You've already filled up your men - Killian Maths Experience How can Henry please both his girlfriend and his boss at the same time? - Travelling Salesman video Given Kate, what is the probability of scumbag? One. - Darragh I may not be likeable, but I'm definitely memorable - Padraig S Proof or Pull? - Louis I want to see your Euler line - Kate This is why we need to kill ALL the vegans - Padraig S Who d'you want to kill? GHOST BUSTERS - Liam That's...almost great - Padraig C That's even less right than the last one! - Padraig C What's your favourite part of the course so far? The girls. - anonymous evaluation form response Winner winner, chicken dinner - 21 Jimmy your hemisphere - Padraig C; Is that a technical term? - James Just bang it out yourself - Padraig C Stars and bars, or plugs and holes - Padraig C; These sound like the names of really bad pornos - Kate I will fight any man here. And Darragh - Dylan Can you do it with Markov Chains? - Liam 'Medicine' "Americans are weird" -Mat *points at cardiogram* "And finally, the beat drops." -Mat "What do you call this heartbeat rhythm?" "A mess." "Fruit juice, you wouldn't understand." -everyone "This is Bob and he is just a brain stem" -Ed *a wild comic sans appears on the presentation* "Well that's slightly terrifying"-Mat "Living is a fatal disease" - Owen "Ok...." - Orlaith "Forget about the Kuru for a sec, is cannibalism ok? " - Gwen "Well it would probably damage your social life" - Nathan Social Psychology Too many soups spoil the broth - Zac We don't want you to get eaten by a dragon or fall down a rabbit hole! - Shauna (TA) Let's not talk about D&D - Shauna (TA) You've got peoples bits ''in you - Zac Say we just gave them all drugs - Alan (left our class... traitor) You can kill but you can't celebrate - TraitorAlan We had to speak the first yearsh - Aurora But... we can't kill people? - Alan I'm afraid of most things - Kate "Your mum sucks my cunt dick off" - Fionn "Truee" - Georgia I appreciate the sarcasm, it feeds me - Alan Ah, sport, that thing I don't really know about - Shauna (TA) I can hear you, I know the voices and they aren't in my head this time! - Shauna I'm not drunk, I'm ''tired ''- Aurora Maybe by week three I can astronomically project and teleport - Shauna Coffee is the new diabetes - Zac The T stands for gay - Zac Everyone loves a good murder - Zac/Aurora You may not learn much social psych, but you will know obscure celebrities - Sadhbh (teacher) I convinced my friends to jump off piers and stuff - Little Zac If you just look sad and have lots of facts people will believe anything - Aurora I'm not a billion people - Alan Increase ''your ''GNP with cheerios! - Alan The shrimp is Bernie - Billy Oh my God! Hitler! We love you! - Aurora (this was taken out of context. I don't love Hitler I swear) You never hear anyone giving out about Boy Scouts- Billy The propaganda is that he hangs out with Boy Scouts, but the full picture is that he did 9/11 - Billy There's a bowtie out there for everyone - Ethan He and I are polar opposites aside from our opinions on pizza - Ethan Let's not analyse dear sweet bicycle man - Shauna She believes that you have to open a window to let out the thunder - Odhran Are witches a musical instrument? - Billy The coffee made him do it! - Zac ''"Family Shell-Shocked as Hitler-Defying Tortoise Dies" ''- headline / everyone Clickbait isn't journalism, it's organised bullshit - Billy You know how you find things in the most unlikely places? My wallet's in the fridge - Ethan Birds of a potato flock potato - Zac Zac/Aurora "Why would you want to boil custard?" Billy - "Because no one else has" Why not try ~Mediocrity~ - Alan Make me a kettle that boils honey - Billy Hey Sadhbh, let's think about that embarrassing thing you did in 1998 - Sadhbh's brain Throw the biggest party ever ~your funeral~ - Aurora On one hand he's a Nazi, but on the other hand his name alliterates - Luan (also a traitor) Just imagine celery is delicious - Sadhbh Like true commies, they even share accents - Niall What is the meme-ing of life? - Zac A life-proof Chinese person?! - Zac I'm not saying they'll be hit by the elite crack squad of spiders, but I am saying you'll never see them again - Shauna She can't leave, there's a bomb in her bag - Billy Ethan " Can we have a fight club?" Shauna "You already broke the first rule!" When you're at a dead end in your music career take loads of drugs - Alan Don't question it, just take your shirt off - Ethan I have to find Jesus and give his hat back - Ethan Yesterday he gave me his lab coat and his hat, I think we're in love - Ethan Stop removing people's clothing! - Odhran I've often looked a child and thought "wow that's an ugly child" - Billy I AM A MASSIVE DICK - Aurora Gerry Adams is a Jedi - Niall Controversial elderly gay marriage in Kerry! Fun! - Donal Fionn is a spider Nazi - Niall and Orla Where are all these chairs coming from? I swear they're breeding - Odhran Shauna "Burn it!" Aurora "Can we toast it?" You only have control of the upper half of my body - Ethan What's going on with you and Hitler?! - Orla to Aurora I regret...''everything ''- Aurora Ethan "I fall for it all the time" Sadhbh "Which one?" Ethan "The social one" Everyone "This is SOCIAL psych!" Compliment them, but don't take their clothes - Zac Be a beautiful man - Billy Niall "No, I always get consistently bad teachers" Sadhbh "Wow thanks so much" I ''love bitching about people - Billy And then Hitler came along like "Hey I can make Germany great again!" - Emma I have carpet burn on my butt from these chairs - Aurora Ethan "Billy come back to bed" Billy, on phone "No, I can't, I asked my RA" I don't like old people but I like looking at them from afar - Aurora I bet they don't have discos very often in Galway - Niall, said with utmost distaste Zac, I swear to god if I see my first dick through you, you're dead - Aurora Wait, I can poison people with potatoes?! - Ethan Three by three is a small forest - Zac Ethan likes to keep flirting with his mom then - Niall Party with Jesus! Woooo! - Sadhbh This has become more about cracking and less about gender - Billy I hope your dimples fall off your face - Georgia Aurora "It looks like a stethoscope" Ethan "That's because you need it to check my heart" Zac stop flirting with the caterpillar!!- Aurora Just eat it don't question it - Niall You don't want just any raptors... you want snow raptors! - Shauna *sees shirtless sportalians* There are loads of sexy men outside if anyone wants to take one - Billy Men do the dabbing in the house - Billy Who put party with Jesus in the male table - Ethan Men have penises, most of the time - Billy Why are there just sad potatoes - Aurora Ahhhh that's a different sensation - Billy The sad potatoes crashed my computer - Ethan Aurora "If we need more confederates we can ask the sportalians to do it, because it'll improve their English and that's what they're here for" Billy "No, they're here to fuck bitches and waste money" I don't remember when I became a lizard - Shauna I treat everyone as a xylophone - Ethan Did you just make a tinfoil speedo? - Ethan to Niall I went to the store and bought slaves, freedom, capitalism, lots of conspiracy theories, raspberries, and a sense of nationalistic pride - Billy, Ethan, Donal, Aurora, Zac, and Niall I'm the purple teletubby - Billy *Aurora flips glasses* You look like a moose! - Billy Ailbhe "We need to get more information" Billy "You need to get a life" I exceeded the word limit by 18 million with dab - Niall We need 8 DENNIS and 4 HAROLD - Billy Billy, is ROGER part of HAROLD? - Sofia I think I am ''this worm - Sofia Thou shalt not love Hitler - Ethan It's like sleeping on clouds if clouds were warm and made of meat - Ethan You got money down my crotch - Ethan Aurora "I have zero upper body strength" Ethan "I have three" Ethan "But then you're sad and lonely and have 13 cats!" Aurora "Hey! I only have 3 cats!!" Billy "What happened to your other kidney?" Steph "I got bored" I'm going to a herpes civilization forest - Zac Wasabi wa American - Ethan I'm not going to bite my toenails - Ethan Rogald the spreadsheets, I ship it - Ethan *looks at baby* that's an ugly child - Billy I'm the imaginary boyfriend - Aurora Have fun, don't become a bear because bears are terrifying - Donal Nice long distance pelvis thrust Zac - Ethan Donal "Billy is a dabsexual" Billy "I have a raging erection" Dab with Jesus - Sadhbh Oh, Jesus is a cat - Ethan Let Sadhbh into the disco! - Everyone Why do they call them roofies if you're far more likely to fall on the floor - Ethan I might have a personal vendetta against windows - Donal Mmm, Nazis, yum - Aurora O boi, I sure do love putting sweat in my pocket - Billy I need that finger for later... don't break it - Billy Maaaan this is leeeethal - Fionn Don't you just love finding a student twitching at your feet? - Shauna Don't kick the corpse - Shauna No violent dabbing at each other! - Shauna Niall really excelled at dabbing - Sadhbh We accept murderers- Sadhbh PAULIE PINEAPPLE IS A CELEBRITY - Odhran ....isn't that a meme? - Sadhbh Embrace the poodle - Sofia "Is there a way to make the ukulele sound bad?" "Yes" "How?" "Billy" "Ahh" - Ethan and Daniel Emma "Ten out of ten" Zac "Would slap again" Oh, you have one of the music squares - Donal Billy comes in dressed as a chair - Sadhbh Sadhbh "Why are babies cute?" Billy "They're not" They're cute and edible - Sadhbh It's adorable in an ugly way - Zac Ryan Gosling is a baby goose, confirmed - Ethan That is a phenomenal surname - Shauna I am my own gender - Billy She's wearing the skin of another! - Shauna This is the first marriage I've been in where I'm the husband - Zac I've changed my sexual identity from an Apache attack helicopter to the emotion sadness - Ethan Yay for Satan, nay for dabbing - Aurora What is that?! A fascist lemon?! - Zac I hate Earth, I wanna go to France - Ethan I said it for the quote - Ethan You're pretty, and we're dying - Ethan Live your life faster, we don't have much time left - Ethan I thought I was having an isolated arm hot flash - Aurora I should contact my friend Molly, she's a meme maker - Zac 'Write, Act, Perform' "Mershed Perterters" - Liadh, Taylor "I have a thing for Andrews" - Larisa "Mel Gibson plays himself in Mad Max. He's a very angry man." - Andrew "Wait - You're gay?' - Tara (To Taylor, as they held their rainbow umbrella after making jokes about how gay they are.) "STOP STEALING THE BRICKS FROM MY HOUSE! I SAW YOU!" - Liadh "We're classmates." "No, we're divorcees." - Andrew and Aidan "Mel Gibson is in Australia. Mel Gibson's family is murdered. Mel Gibson is angry. Is that not the plot of Mad Max?" - Andrew "UNLIMITED POWAHHHHHHHH" - Aidan "Hurtling Turtles Meenage Shuttle" - Andrew "Friendzoned again. I'll just go and drink my mountain dew and doritos energy shake." - Andrew "Ooooh, she thick!" - Taylor "I thought the gay guys were cute, but then he was smelling his jumper and that was pretty creepy." - Ruairí '''General Interest' "GLORY TO JOHN!" Students Teenage Mutant Ninja Titties - Rebecca *Makes chicken noises* - Rebecca Chicken periods make the best cake - Louise Kinky seagull 2k16 - Rebecca + Iosaf Master gave Dobby cocks! - Thomas Pon pon pon is like lsd.mp4 - Rebecca Wake me up inside - Eimear Master wakes Dobby up inside - Thomas Sex won't, but you can buy it online without the cables - Jacob "I'm just injecting ink into your veins, it'll be fun, like heroin!" - Ethan "Heroin's only fun when you do it yourself!" - Ciara Hi ho hi ho from snow white makes me think of prostitues on weed - Rebecca My sexuality is on top. As long as I'm on top it doesn't matter what's underneath me. Man, woman, small animal - Jordan I don't care about humanity. Unless it's underneath me - Jordan Who do you have to blow to get these prices reduced - Iosaf (at gamestop) Have fun with Fiona - John RA; You too - Rebecca How many times do I have to say I don't like balls until people stop offering them to me? - Eimea Can I tickle your chin? - Eimear I always have fetishes for everything including John - Eimear I love Nooting - Louise Fergal is the embodiment of Donegal - Liadáin Because the universe exists - Liadáin Kinkshame me Pádraig - Eimear Let's all shift Colm - Eimear Prepare to get jacked off - Liam Don't bite the gift horse that feeds you - Oisín I despise you, in a kind way - Tomás And the uncertainty principle states...uh....penis - Liam Carbon is my fish - Tomás Come up to my room, Dylan, and we'll push it out - Darragh You're so stupid Paul- Peter "It's the call of the void" "It's the fucking scream of the void" -Molly and Paul Molly is okay in small quantities.... like cocaine -Tom Tom doesn't move fast for anything except Food, Women and Get Down Mr. President -Emmett I'm gay, we don't do drugs -Aidan it's fun because it's tight -Ruairi OH SHIT!!! -Ruairi (along with everyone else) That's a quote! -Rory *Ethan puts on a fedora* "HA EXPOSED!" - Lian I'm trying so hard to remember his face but it's just so fucking bland. I'm gonna forget it the second I look away he's too generically white. - Ray Louise: They're encouraging pushing disabled people down hills! Lian: Bye Louise *shoves* Louise: Wheeeeeee! "you can eat the starburst wrappers"-eve "i think more about food than i think about women"- dan "when the door says push but you came to pull"- emma "he's like the camera man in a porno, he just watches from the sidelines and never gets any action"-lana "even your male friends are fuckboys you're always a target , theres no safety"-lana "he was probably just being friendly"-"he tried to finger me!"- evan and lana "corn is the most sexual vegetabble"-"its not a vegetable its a grain, i know my fucking farmland"- justin and callum "i dont swing that way"-fionn @ callum "pads and pens, all you need in life"-rose "oh shit i found a lump on top of my lump"- leah "fionns guide to getting pussy at 14"-fionn "so THIS is how you get pussy"-fionn "this nutella is making me horny"-leah "you can see the bumps of your adams apple even though girls dont have them"- gabija"dont say shift its so graphic"-muireann TAs/TIs/RAs In-Jokes Spontaneous! - Liadáin Too real... - Luan, Zac, Ethan, Andrew, Padraig, Aurora, JacobI Sometimes I look at them fondly and think "I know those nipples" - Ellen I want to be a type two diabetic dick - Ellen You can look at it fondly and say "That's my penis" - Ellen I am fond of my genitalia - Ellen I'm a super serious officer - Jacob I'm gonna look up mushroom sex - Zac Mushroom sex - Zac, Luan, Aurora, Ethan "What do we want?" - Everyone "Bee movie!" - Everyone "When do we want it?" - Everyone "BEE MOVIE" - Luan Not Ethan - Daniel, Andrew Purple - Diarmuid + Alex It's good. - Billy + Luan You will buy all my nipples - Ellen No! Get out of my crotch! - Ellen Ok, just lick your vagina at me - Ellen Argh, your butt, it's it's wiNKING AT ME - Ellen Cos I just can't wait to be bloob - Ellen Ciara "The KKK is educational" Zac "Edu-k-k-k-tional" Go back to nature raspberry fruit! - Zac's notebook It's not cheating, it's teamwork! - Ciara, a massive cheater Once Donald Trump leaves the planet, the earth will realize it doesn't need to kill itself anymore - Padraig Women are dicks and men have none - Padraig God ripped Adam's dick off - Liam Liam "Why would you want to have sex with a sandwich?!" Aurora "Because they're moist...?" Johnny Depp murders the cast of Harry Potter, what's not to like? - El They always fuck me in the wrong way, but it's ok because I'm sleeping with her tonight - Elizabeth ~~Risk in Alan's room~~ Don't touch my Africa- Luan My favourite colour is Africa- Luan The blue mans Africa- Luan Don't fuck up my Asia- billy I'm gonna fuck you right in the Asia- ruari THIS IS WHOPPER- Luan Fuck this up- Luan to billy every turn My knowledge of history starts at 1444// what important event happened in 1444?// the game Europa Universalis IV starts- ruari and Alan I've always wanted to be a city-state- Alan Oh wow the blacks are really comin in there- Luan *sarcasm* I'm gonna do good- Alan You are the most subtly savage person I have ever met, Alan - Luan That's my Middle East rip'd- Luan I think I'll become a vegetarian. I'll wait for my anaemia to clear up first though. - Molly If you could go back in time and kill baby Hitler, would you? - Aoibheann Ye but not Stalin - Alice "i dont mean to fuck my toast"-evan "you can have banter in bed"-leah "teenyboppers assemble"-odhran "intelligent tea 'cause T is for smart"-abby "seduction squad, prostitution posy"-kellie " you're such a discriminating rasher person"-leah "the internet told me i was sexy"-eve "the cards are going everywhere in my bra"- leah "thats supposed to be me as an angry ship by the way"-lana "CARBS"-gabija "spooin"-leah "your kneecap's in me"-leah "we're going looking for greeners"-muireann "don't worry my clothes are staying on *cough* emer *cough*"-evan Session 2 Courses Behavioural Psychology A "What year is it again?" - Caoilfhlinn "Yes daddy" - Katie "Slenderman tentai" -Caoilfhinn & Katie "Boop the snoot" - Aoife "Open your mouth" - Katie "(talking about a video on youtube about 4 year olds' social skills) I ship Skyla and Jessica. Oh wait, they're four." - Caoilfhinn "(distressed shouting) You can't do that they're four" - Riley "You forgot the cum" - Caoilfhinn "(just having broken Caoilfhinn's sword) You have such a hard ass!" - Katie "It's too big, it won't fit" - Neil "Who is this person and why do they have shit in their mouth" - Caoilfhinn "That would be a great name for a band; The Severed Penises." - Katie "There's like 5 people in Tipperary, and at least two of them are sheep." - Riley "I think Koalas have like 8 vaginas" - Katie "What is with you and nugget porn?!" - Bláthnaid "Everyone knows I'm the rape king" - Neil "Marriage is just betting half your stuff that someone will love you forever" - Bláthnaid "Imma get the D" - Ciara "I had a sausage yesterday that looked just like a willy" - Niamh "Imagine our babies" - Katie to Neil "I like dick" - Ciara "Stop ringing me richard you're not the dad" - unknown 4 year old "I'm gonna fight you Bláthnaid" "you just did, and you lost." - Aoife and Bláthnaid "Diabetes in a box" - Ciara "It's easy to overcharge children" - Ciara "Open your mouth... Did that go in?" - Neil "Anyone, spell ICUP" - Neil "You keep shoving your nipples in my face" - Katie "Well you keep shoving your face in my nipples" - Neil "If you get a maths question wrong, then accidentally murdered someone, go to Norway!" - Bláthnaid "she starts making a point, contradicts herself, then makes a whole different point" - Daniel Ryan "THEY GOT THE MOTION WRONG" - everyone "I don't think they understand that 'yelling' is part of a debate" - unknown "Me" - Ciara "Same" - Ciara "Okay so heres the plan. We get Neil really drunk, and get him into the KKK" - Katie "Free will is a government conspiracy" - Aife "I'm gonna name my child Harambe" - Ciara; "You'll probably have forgotten about Harambe by the time you're having children, don't resort to teenage pregnancy in order to name your child Harambe" - Aife; "I'm gonna get pregnant and name my child Harambe" - Ciara ---------- Behavioural Psychology B "Cormac has a flamingo kink" - Diana "Megan can I have a quote?" - Katie "We've been bamboozled again" - Cormac "I DON'T WANT FRIENDS" - Cormac "Flamingos are better than people" - Caroline "Bone Daddy would want it" - Diana "Same/Cute" - Diana "It's not necrophilia it's just misunderstood" - Diana "Oh that's so nice" - Katie "Thanks I stole it" - Megan "We've been bamboozled by bone daddy" - Eric "I'm not threatening, how am I threatening?" - Selin "Yeah I'm so sick, sick of your shit" - Diana "Make Chris great again" - Megan "Build a Paul not a wall" - Caroline "Promise me a place in your house of memeories" - Diana "Look my phone's getting it from both ends" - Leila "Your phone may be able to get it from both ends, but mine can take 2 in one end" - Eric "Wouldn't it be cool if we found out pot noodles actually had pot in them and that's why everyone loves them so much" - Leila "Can I have your phone" -TA "Wait..... Wait.......... One sec...." * TA finally gets it 5 minutes later* - Dan *After getting lost* "Now I know why we're Baby Psych, 'cause we're fucking useless" - Megan "Use hand gestures" - Leila "Does this count?" �� - Caroline @ Megan "Can you quote me sometimes? Megan? Please?" - Katie "Can we all agree that the A in B Psych A is for Assholes?" - Caroline "Yeah" - everyone "Can we just complain about B Psych A for the rest of the class" - Leila @Megan *doing a rubix cube* "Yeah it's getting messed up, just like your life!" - Caroline "There's always time to be gay" - Megan "Just pretend it's a Hoover even though it looks like a saxophone" - Megan "I said murderer not burglar" - Caroline "It's not stealing, it's borrowing indefinitely" - Megan "Give me fluff" - also Megan *TA asking for phone* "Wait the beat's about to drop" - Eric "Dance together, pants together" - Megan "Promise me a place in your house of memeories" - Diana "It's so hard but so good" - Caroline "Oops something went wrong" -Eilidh @Chris "yeah something went wrong with your face" - Megan "Uh oh spaghettio" - Chris "I could be the Dali Lama if I wanted" - Chris "We talk about cannibalism everyday" "We love eating people" - Leila "Maybe breakfast will be our always" - Caroline "Why do people just assume Chris is a stoner?" - Dan "Bone Daddy got Chris pregnant" - Caroline "How do you imply necrophilia?" - Katie "Tell Dan to grow a sense of humour along with his dick" - Leila "I'm not dropping it!" - Megan *she says as she's dropping it* "Maybe orgies are the only way to express love" - Megan "Law" Guuuuuuuuuuuyyyyyyyyyyyssssssssss-Karl Don't let your memes be dreams - Finn Hey Paul *Walks into glass door*- Conor Why does Offaly exist? - Conor ayy lmao - Maya Where are my memesticks? - Cathal It's the little things, like shitting into a bucket - David I, too, spit blood on children - Luke Not the only Sterling that's bad at the moment - David Being homosexual isn't gay - Ivan So, the main difference between WWE and the Catholic Church - Luke Speaking as Lorcan's pregnant wife - Hugh Despair rhymes with in there - Luke Happy people don't shoot their husbands - Legally Blonde, a cinematic masterpiece Japanese Language & Culture Ciara: (to Claudia) I couldn't sit up because your vagina was in the way Claudia: *surfer voice* dude, you're like totally harshing my mellow right now Claudia: (to Aisling) Do you like The Smiths? Aisling: What's that? Aisling: Stay tyre in coming Aoife: *every five minutes* Where's my keycard? Aisling: Let's wait for Aoife Everyone: *waits for ten minutes* what's taking her so long? Aoife: *shouts from her room* I'M WASHING MY FEET Claudia: If I was a fly I wouldn't fly anywhere. I'd ironically walk. Ciara and Claudia: Quit yer moanin' Izzy: *does her entire Japanese culture project on cats* Claudia: *to everyone* follow me on instagram Niall: I'm turning the big One-Oh...I'm on the highway to death. Izzy: *staring at a pond* I wanna be a fish, Claudia Everyone: ..............pssssssssssssssssssst.................PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST! Claudia: *when anything happens* I'm not arsed with this Ciara, Claudia & Aisling: ah sure, how's she cuttin'? Aisling: (about being gay) ah sure ye couldn't be at that craic, shame the relatives Claudia: cheeky wee bit of Catholocism Niall: How much sugar is in those sweets? Claudia: So many. Ciara: Niall has dandruff...what's a dandruff? Joseph: *looks at Claudia* I think it's a type of lesbian. Izzy: *during her presentation* basically they were very grateful to the flying cat head. Claudia: We could do a bit of renovation in the Alps, remodel some caves, rearrange some rocks Kian (TI): come on kids, let's do some Katakana and chill Joseph: If it's not considered pedophilia, then it's legal enough Claudia: I'm gonna be on 16 & Pregnant Izzy: Claudia, you're gay. Niall: *to Ciara with her hair down* you look like a man who tried to grow his hair out Aisling: What about priests and vaginas? Aising: I love the smell of the sun Ciara and Claudia: FLUENT Ciara: *attempting to say fluent in Spanish* SPLUENT Claudia and Ciara: *trying to speak to the sportalians in Spanish" hasta la vista...estas guapo, ciao! Aoife: Classic Claudia, goes for the shift after less than two days. Claudia: I love a good shift and grimace Claudia and Ciara: OHOHOHO Aoife: "Goodnight everyone!" *doesn't go to bed* Claudia: *surfer voice* dude, I can like FEEL Jupiter's moons protecting you right now. Niall: *surfer voice, to Claudia* ....dude, I have a confession to make....I'm.........bromosexual Claudia: *when anyone does anything* classic Aisling: *to Ciara* you can stay as long as you want as long as you turn your underwear inside out Niall: we need to find me a non-amish, fertile female suitor not named Norman Claudia: *to Ciara* Are you going for the shift tonight? Ciara: No! My mouth is small enough already without someone else's tongue in it Aoife: *to Claudia* my mum is not going ton have an extra-marital affair with a gay teenager! Niall: My one true love is an artificial blow-up doll. Claudia: tru, tru, tru Kian (TI): *puts every meme in our Japanese coursebook* Claudia: *smuggles Nutella packets from the canteen for Aisling* Niall: *suppressed laugh* Claudia: *reading a skit* "Where's Jason?" ".......smack" Claudia and Ciara: That's illegal in Donegal Ciara: Joseph's Snapchat is ArtichokeMeDaddy69 Joseph and Claudia: *ironic sexual tension* Claudia: Joseph always tickles my V Ciara: Look at all the birds on the penis Claudia: We don't have bread in Donegal Everyone: Meet you in the Drugs Corner Claudia: *trying to write a 4 thousand word essay* How has women? Niall: He totally wanted to be in my basement, dude. Claudia: What time is it? Ciara: Time for you to shut the fuck up. Niall: You just pinched my ass with your foot! Niall: What is your obsession with my sternum? Film Studies "What is Russia?" - Maggie "Baby don't hurt me." - Molly "No he didn't find the bike! That's the whole point of the film!" - Arianna "I am Comic Sans." - Gabi "You wouldn't want your eyebrows to be the embodiment of Comic Sans, would you?" - Maeve (on Brian Blessed) "He scrambles eggs by shouting at them." - Steph "Once I tried to impress a girl by putting my foot on the pedal and slamming it down. But it turned out she'd seen a bin open that way before." - Jack "Food beyond compare, food beyond belief, mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef - the canteen." - Gabi "Shauna 'Avatar' Caffery." - Gabi (on Harrison Ford) "He was quite wooden. Which is ironic, for a carpenter." - Maeve "I need a picture of his blue Speedos but there's none on the internet." - Molly "If you lose it, you owe me two pairs of sunglasses." - Dermot "When I die, I want to get full contour. So people can see me at my best." - Arianna "Stickiness is great. Do you want some sticky leg?" - Steph "She has to decide between her grandma, who's human, and this werewolf, who makes her feel so alive." - Gabi "It's a bit rapey, but it's too funny to be rapey." - Molly "And then there's this 'ho ho ho now I have a machine gun" moment." - Maeve "It's that idea of communist bad guys." - Maeve "Just like me." - Gabi "Her breasts are centre frame! It's so problematic!" - Jack "Why does everybody ask me that? I like ''goats, I don't want to ''be ''a goat!" - Maeve "I hate it when films reduce gay characters to just gay and nothing else." - Sam "That's literally me though." - Gabi "All sparkles and no substance." - Maeve "If you could have any superpower what would it be?" - Jack "Invisibility." - Molly "Mine would be China." - Jack "A couple of you have talked about how you're interested in Marxism..." - Sarah "Goddamn, I love these peaches." - Jack (discussing an all-gay Titanic) "It's the ultimate 'kill your gays'." - Maggie "Sinking the ships." - Niamh. "She's in f*** me in the a** 'cause I love Jesus." - Calum "That's where I recognise her from!" - Gabi "No we cannot go on a walk that is exactly 30m, Calum. The first step is to admit you have a problem." - Maeve "PJ lives in the incestuous part of Galway, but it's alright because he's half-American." - Gabi "Ballykineely: fun for all the family." - Jack (on animation from 6 and 7 year-old Mini-Ts) "Did that pass the Bechdel test?" - Maggie "There are also animations that are made specifically for adults. Not in...THAT way, though." - Maeve (at cartoon bat) "Batman is SO handsome." - Maggie "A woman's got 99 problems, but a dishwasher ain't one." - Maggie "Wow." - Owen Wilson "New Zealand is technically part of the world." - Conor "All those people in South Korea all like 'it's not like it used to be, we want to be oppressed' and then they go to North Korea and they're like 'shit'." - Arianna "Do you ever wish you could have a body like Dick Van Dyke's?" - Molly "Gabrielle Fullam? Who's that?" - Calum "Is that your only friend?" - Dermot "Pick a side!" - Everyone @ Gabi (playing Guess the Film) "Jack's Weird World?" - Sarah "Doctor Who?" - Arianna I'm a black belt in Tae Kawn do. -Alex I don't believe you. Show me. Beat me up. Come on. Fight me Alex.-Arianna Alex beats Arianna up I think my boob just feel off - Arianna I'm Hillary and everyone else is trump. I'm better but not by much - Arianna It's a Mumblecore buddy comedy about escaping to North Korea - Arianna Trying to catch me riding dirty I feel like that could fit with their film - Calum CALUM NO!!! - everyone I'm a green tea whore - bad YouTube makeup artist/everyone Do the police join in? - Calum CALUM - everyone No child will want to go on a bus or go to their grandmas house or go on buses after this oh shit no I just realised - Arianna It was really interesting and good that no one wrote about the same subject in the essays - Maeve Well, you only write the right essay once - Arianna Is that foreshadowing? - Arianna OH MY GOD NO - Sarah and Arianna after Once '''International Relations A (a.k.a. I.R.A.)' "I don't believe in kinkshaming but I do believe in keeping your kinks to yourselves." - Molly "Are you Irish?" - Amina "Yeah" - Karl "No! Are you serious? Wow!" - Amina "What's Saddam Hussain doing at Eurovision?" - Molly "I'd pay to see that." - Gabi "Australia's not even real. When was the last time you saw Australia?" - Gabi (on wearing half a tin foil hat) "Now Enda Kenny can only read half my thoughts." - Molly "FOILED again!" - Joseph (on High School Musical) "I watched all three movies in one sitting." - Molly "And you said masochism was dead." - Joseph International relations B "IRB" - Everybody "We can't be friends with benefits with Britain" - Keelan "The UK is my fetish" - james "They're not concentration camps, they're correctional labour facilities" - David "Micheal Collins was apparenty a good lover" - Annabelle "I would know" - Jessica "800 years of oppression lol" - Brigid (in front of Colm O Reily while being filmed) "The nuclear bombing of Japan was good though" - Keelan "We need an army! What if Allahu Akbar attacks us?!" - Rachel "When I was in first year, I wanted to spell my name with k to look cool" - Jessika (in relation to the Falklands Islands) "Operation reclaim the sheep" - Billy "I love segregation" - David "I don't write the quotes, I just say them" - Rachel "Let's just kill all the children" - David "What if the kindergarteners tell ISIS we're here?" - Rachel 'Medicine B' "That film was traumatising!" -Everyone "Can we spend the day watching House?" -Everyone "I love House" -Nearly Everyone "Racist!!!!" -Dwaihi "You can have 90% of my album when I become the new Rihanna" -Mutiat (to the tune of 'Titanium') "I'm waterproof, nothing to lose, water away, water away" - Jodie & Jessie Music Production "Whenever I want to be sad I imagine an onion cutting itself" - Mark "If stars had a sound I suppose that's what they would sound like" - Julie (in reference to her Glockenspiel) "You wouldn't like minions if you ever saw minion porn" - Tara "Is that a thing do birds get married?" - Tara "Puptuals" - Tara "What is it with music people and bread rolls? It's like the bread roll mafia" - Tara "Fancy man with the fancy physics" - Mark ( to Matthew ) "Have you ever seen chicken feet? Chicken feet are WELL weird" - Tara "Dark lives matter cause like dark matter and then black lives matter, ya? no." - Mark "Im making my way back up, yay" - Francesca *miscellaneous noises* - Brónagh "You can just catch a seagull and be a pirate then" - Tara "My syndrome may be down but my hope is up" - Mark "Why is a 12 year old telling women to flaunt it?" - Tara "Put it right down the cleavage" - Lucy "The mixer mooxing mixits fun to watch what what what" - Pen "Is that a shark" - Shauna (T.A.) "I'm lost, I want what you're on" - Francesca "This is weird, like really f*cking weird, like this is the weirdest thing I have ever done" - Brónagh "RAviolu" - Pen "We just like RAviolu" - Pen "Ooh Blue" - Brónagh "Clicking is an African language"- Tara "That was deep and political and i love it" - Shauna (T.A.) *weird noises*" Its crazybrónagh" - Pen "That's my hole, you go down there for peace, Get out of my hole* - Francesca (to Brónagh '') "Going to do all the trees in Farmleigh and find some nice holes to insert myself into" - Tara "We're high on CTYI" - Caragh "Oh oh no why do you keep putting me further underground" - Francesca "It's gone.... ohh..... everything's gone" - Francesca "Grab....Grab from there, grab all the way down, perfect *drawn out moan* - Tal (''to Cíllian) "Mark i'm going to cut off your hand" - Ciara "I'm not beautiful without my Sonic hat" - Pen "That sounds like a strange sex move *a flanger* - Caragh "Brontasourus wail and Taylor Swift? Basically the same thing" - Shauna (T.A.) "Once you have made Garageband your slave" - Shauna (T.A.) "This is Satan singing in the shower" - Mark *whispers* "The Voices" - Mark "He just reminded me of a stripper" - Brónagh (talking about Mark) "Chugga chugga wowoh bass" - Cíllian "It'ld be racist if they hit us cause you know Afrikaans" - Mark (to Brónagh) "Is this marijauna in my good Christian neighbourhood?" - Pen "Let's do a class caw-caw" - Laura (T.I.) "I know I look like I'm mildly gonna kill someone" - Shauna (T.A.) "Erotic Literature? I'm a fan" - Tal "Yous are only 14" - Hannah R.M. (to Brónagh/Tara) "Yous are only 13" - Hannah R.M. (to Hannah D.) "Hannah, they saw me skipping" - Julie "My hammies are burnt out" - Tal "Will you come lamping Hannah?" - Tal "Stay, Stand, Come.....Wait no... Stand, Stay, Come" - Brónagh *creepy humming* "Would you like to go *long pause* lamping" - Hannah R.M. "Did they have movie trailers back in 2006?" - Brónagh "Yes my regular glasses for my eye muscles" - Ciara "Don't let your memes be dreams" - Mark "It's like a psychopath telling himself that everything is okay" - Cillín "Ye bastards of many" - Mark "I'll slay you all"- Tara "Can we jump him when he come in cause I really want to take his shirt" - Julie "There is a guaranteed 7" - Brónagh "I'm feeling very quotable right now, I've had a lot of coffee"- Shauna (T.A.) "It's funny how Swedish people are called Swedes, like turnips" - Tara "Matty K" - Tal ************ "Turnt Beats" - Tara "Is that beats with a z?" - Laura (T.I.) "No it's not that turnt" - Tara ************ "I heard bread rolls then I got excited about carbs" "What type of carbs? Lean carbs?" - Matthew "No protein carbs" - Tara "Gotta get those gains" - Matthew ************ "Mmm Spider" - Cillín "Spiders and peppers and pasta" - Matthew "Mmm Protein" - Cillín ************ "....That's what we're going to be doing with the Film Studies people!" - Hannah R.M. "Murder them in their sleep?" - Tal Robotics:= "Alan perches better than any of you" - Jack Moore "Stand for the Russian national anthem, stand or you're a disgrace" - Jack Moore "Nobody here even knows the daNk memes" - Ryan "Hey. You wanna buy my mix tape? It's a hundred and ten percent fire" - Ryan "Game Theory" Welp, that's another quote - pj I only have Chinese strippers on a Friday - Jenny What colour is my shirt? - Everyone I'll give you five Garnets for a blowjob - Pj You can't do cultural appropriation without a little racism - Pj Ah, it's good to be racist - Pj Oh shit, there's two pedos on the loose, one of them a liar! - Cian Hell yeah, we're both retarded - Cian Your Spanish guitar is too edgy for us - Jack Hm? That stands for .... homosexual monkeys - Andrew if he calls me a happy little accident I'll pay him - Callum Your gonna have irradiated babies in your ass - Pj Ah it's just casual Korean racism, don't worry - Niall That is a big brown stain - Jack They're probably like cancer for you but they taste amazing - Owen Any commuters have money for lunch and dinner? - Paul That's interesting - poker guy Ok, I need to take a shit, but now I can shit pleasantly knowing that my shoes are dapper - Owen I kind of solved cancer - Cian Mmm, I've come to the conclusion that it kills you - Jack That but sounded bigger than you are - Andrew It's not racist, they're only Korean - Cian FIGHTING - Koreaboos Go back to Reddit - Conor But goats can be cattle too right guys? - Owen Popular Fiction: "But we want to be Soviet Russia more!" -David "Yay, I'm North Korea!" - Grace "Everything I say should be an inspirational quote." - Caleb "We should all be credited for not dying every day" - Rhys "It's worth it for good donuts" -Rhys and Ben's Moto/philosophy "You can't have a cold war without the other half" - Grace "COOKIESSSSSSS"-JJ "All da nukes"-Ben "All da nukes from Vladamir Puts" - Rhys "Quick, everyone say something quotable!" - Ben "In my school I'm known as the world's most stupid genius. I achieved this title for coming up with stupid ideas that are actually really good. Most notably is replacing treadmils with hamster wheels" - Rhys "The goal of the game is to win" - Ben "Philosophy is so deep it's coming out their asses" - Caleb "The weather is broken" - Aisling.C, in relation of that one hot Tuesday "What is the quotable quote of the quoteness"-Grace "BISCUITSSS oh wait no goddamn it i meant COOKIESSSSS"- JJ "I can't think of anything suitably satirical to say" - Caleb, writing on the evaluation form "I regret everything: Famous last words" - Joel "We should've let the door close on the cripple" - Ben "I cheated on the entrance exam" - Caleb "My eyes are merely sweating" - JJ "Is he in the army or is he cosplaying?". -JJ "You said you'll give him a genuine euro" "But I'm not a genuine person" - Rhys "How does one murder a seal" - Ben "Moving swiftly on!' - Everyone "Im hardcore judging you people" - Aisling.C "I say a lot of quotable things, but I have no friends to put them on the site." -Joel, replied to by Ben with "I'm gonna quote that purely because I feel sympathy for you." "Japan had an interesting everything." -Rhys "This class has turned into memes!" - Grace "It's more bent than my perception of sanity" -JJ *koala puns* - Caleb *Is done with everyone's bullshit* - Grace When asked if he would blend a baby in a blender, Hugh replied:"China would do it" "It's something about maple syrup and distrust" - Aisling "I am an idiot" - JJ, 96301 times a day "I'm just going to theripudically smash this frozen loaf of bread off the wall" - Rhys "Social Psychology" "Where do gills go?" - Caoimhe "I wasn't the one who poisoned them, I just put them out of their misery." Shane "It's green, why is it green?" Joanne "I think Santa should wear black, that'd be pretty cool. After all he is breaking into your house." - El "In the nicest possible way, people are stupid." Joanne "Titty Tuesday" - El "Don't quote groping Thursday" - El "No don't quote that!" Shane "Ciara if you don't stop, you're going to be the bleak and meaningless one after I lobotomize you." - El "Can we kill Shane now?" - Albert (And everyone else at some point or another) "Pigs can fly if you use a catapult." - Aoife "Goddamn angry birds." - Joanne "If you're wondering, that's fly blood." - Ciara "It looks like I'm being kind but I'm actually giving you cancer." - El "How to accidentally join a lesbian threesome." El "Suck my torch of freedom bitches." - El "Shane Murphy, what is a Dubliner doing at the plowing championship?" Feral "We could call you the daddy of the group." - Aoife "Ciara's laugh" - Ciara "Pregnancy is meant to hurt, so a mother wouldn't want the baby to die right?" - Conn "It's all about the neck movements." Shane "Now that's a Cork grunt." -Hannah "I feel like this is foreplay and I don't want to be a part of it." - Ciara General Interest "Is the that Snapple in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" - Caoilfhinn "I'm an optimistic nihilist; the meaning of life is death, but is that really such a bad thing?" - Emer "It's the little things, like shitting in a bucket" - David M. "How do you add quotes?" - Everyone ""When you fall, I will always be there" - Floor "(Unless you fall of a cliff ;))"" - Rhys "No one actually said this" - No one "All I've learned here is innuendos" - Ciara "There are yellow paint pretty things and vodka pretty things." - Emer "Penneys do surprisingly good bras until the underwire decides to shank you." - Emer "You don't need romantic entanglements, girls." - Fiona RA "We just need points!" Rachel Students "Trump is my sugar daddy." - Alannah "Some people are homosexual. I'm Homersexual." - Alannah "If he's the cucumber, I'm the vaseline." - Alannah "How come you can't form a straight line?" - the R.A.s "Because none of us are straight!" - ? "I voted for Hillary!" - ? "I'd do Dumbledore." - ? "Who here would marry Fiachra?" - Molly *all hands raise* "He can be my daddy." - Julie "This is a zoo for plants." - Molly "The only difference between this and a zoo is that if a child gets into the avocado enclosure you don't have to shoot it." - Joseph "Hetero row row your boat." - Gabi "I'm so graceful. Like a mountain goat." - Joseph "Buy my porn. And buy the soundtrack." - Joseph "They ask: 'what does a rural lesbian look like?' and they're like: 'oh, you know, checked shirt and maple syrup' and I'm like 'no! That's Canadians!'" - Julie "Her pork friends?" - Molly "It's just a carnivorous cult. Sitting around, praying to the pig in the centre." - Julie "The piggy in the middle." - Órla "But cancer isn't good, yet puns are very very good." - Colm "Hold my earrings - I'm about to whoop this bitch's ass." - Steph "I always offer people brojobs." - Steph "Better blatant than latent." - Molly "My illness is a metaphor." - Steph (in Doctor Who appreciation, watching Midnight) "Chicken or beef?" - Sky "I think it's both" - the Doctor "(whispered) It's turkey!" - ? "Grindr ruined Pokemon for me." - Luke "Grindr ruined everything." - John-Joe "I just deepthroated an ice cream." - Luke "That fucking show broke my fucking lesbian heart." - Lola "They broke my snart "snail heart." - Luke (in the voice of the Count from Sesame Street) "One nipple - ah ah ah - two nipples - ah ah ah - THREE nipples - ah ah ah." - Luke "C is for crippling anxiety." - Luke "Don't cry, crack." - Luke "Let's go and investigate the baby in the air." - Luke (in relation to using a cactus as a sex toy) "I feel like I've been issued a challenge." - Luke "Look what I found in Bots! A nipple!" - Luke "This is a very lesbian day." - Pen "I put the cum in commuter." - Brooke (on charging 'phones in the bathroom) "This is WAY better than having wild sex!" - Brooke "You should fight them." - Anita "That would be animal abuse." - Luke "I can't just pick it up in my mouth because it goes everywhere!" - Pen "I didn't think you meant oíchí oíchí as in nighty nighty. I thought you said hee hee hee hee as in devious cackling." - Luke "Coming out of the closet and I've been doing just fine gotta gotta go down because I want girls, ALL." - Lola "Welcome to wet tray hell." - Molly "West Korea is best Korea!" - Steph "Stumpfuckers!" - Molly and Arianna (on Hobbits) "Despite our big feet, we have a low carbon footprint." - Ben "We declare war on everyone." - North Korea (FUN) "In response to... climate change?" - Claire R.A. (on murdering all hungry people) "Just a reminder that that's genocide..." - Claire R.A. "Is genocide illegal?" - Caoimhe (representing the Hive) "If you plans don't work, I think we should use Plan Bee." - Liam (looking for a name for gender neutral parent) "What about GNP? Oh wait, that's Gross National Product." - Jack "Oh sugar what up!" - Arianna "Only two things could make this better." - Colm "Lesbians?" - Molly "Vampire ''lesbians." - Colm "Well, I ''am ''Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter." - Colm (after getting three hugs) "I'm getting more skin than a rich, white guy in a whorehouse!" - Jack (on child protection) "There's a two finger rule!" - Gabi "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta go on the sesh, make it last forever, the session never ends!" - Luke '''TAs/TIs/RAs' "Yes, comedy is all about births and oranges"-Pop.Fic "Can they bring back the dank kush?" - Thomas "If I catch you one more time I'm going to bring you to the Arctic and come down on you like an oil rigging station." - Lorcan "Even if they were cousins, it wouldn't stop them shifting." - Fiona "What's your favourite colour, Enda?" - Fiona "Blue. Like this blanket. And your eyes." - Enda "You said you loved me!" - David "It was just a phase!" - Enda "say you're next to the kid with the coloured hair, cause that's all of them" - Claire "why are you ignoring me? is it because I'm short? because that's not funny anymore" - Mary (to Paul) In-Jokes "There is the Ideal Chair" - Emer Guilty!!!-Conor "Surrogacy squad 2k16"- Luke "You're on the right track." - Popular Fiction Class "Hatred of everything PowerPoints" -Medicine B "I tried to be cool, but I forgot I was a nerd" - Caleb, after the "Wall-run Incident" "I did not touch that small blond child!"-James O'Keeffe "I like children.......but not in a wierd way!"-James O'Keeffe "I'm searching for a female leprechaun. I've always been into taller women"-Conor Hi "Savage" - Kerrie Evans "Hurricanes..... are dangrous" - Hugh Tyrell "Parful hoop" - Ruairi Green "Go back to fucking philosophy" - Popular Fiction Class "Kwench me daddy" -Liam "Kwench me up inside" -Evanescense "Cormac you're the worst cousin ever" -Ellen THE TALE OF THE FROZEN BREAD Once upon a time a CTYI newb by the name of Rhys MacGiollabhuidhe was walking around the quad like a loner, when suddenly another student gave hime a loaf of bread. However this was no ordinary loaf of bread. This loaf of bread was frozen. Rhys, being an absolute moron of the highest order decided not to just fuck it on the ground and back away slowly but instead to bring it to his friend Ben who was in his room playing Battle Cats (best game). Ben decided that they should show their friends Joel and Ryan, the self-appointed master of DaNKnEss. Unfortunately all the DaNK had gotten to Ryan and he and Joel were being very annoying so Rhys started theripudically smashing the bread on the wall. Upon return to Ben's room, Rhys began to find as many creative ways as possible to do what ended in a frozen loaf of bread bouncing off of a wall. He also hid lots of slices under Ben's bedsheet. But alas it could not be delayed forever. As is customary to do with any mysterious objects in the CTYI, they placed some in the toaster. And the microwave. And the fridge. And, worst of all, the sink. Which they then filled with water. And more bread. Of course the sink got clogged which to any sane person would be considered a bad thing. Ben however was INsane and Rhys was completetly his own species, so they found this hilarious. Hilarious enough in fact to go and get Ryan and Joel who also found this funny. Unfortunately it was not long until reality caught up with them and they realised that this was not actually a good thing. Because that this was mostly Rhys's fault Ben locked him in the kitchen and told him to get out all of the bread. Rhys started by scooping the bread out with an ice cube tray. During this time, Ben's room mate popped his head through the door and looked at Rhys as though he had 12 heads. Rhys met this stare with a hearty smile and a "Hi". Ben's room mate then did what Rhys should have done a long time ago: back away slowly. It wasn't long after that that Rhys realised that at this point the bread was so soggy that it was litterally spilling out of the ice cube tray and so he decided to simply cram all remaining 8 slices of bread down the drain. THE END [[Category:Japanese Language & Culture